POSITION
AVAILABLE IMMEDIATELY:
Apprentice
Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group
An
unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for an
Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this position would enjoy
galactic travel and possess a complete understanding of and competence in the
Force or demonstrate a willingness to learn.
Duties
included: Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on intervention in
support of the Sith Master's planning initiatives, ability to travel the
galaxy widely, and operating a variety of laser-powered hand weapons and
high-powered space/air vehicles. Some slaying of the enemies of the Dark Side
is also required, which may be performed by using the Force or hand weapons.
Qualified
applicants would possess good communications skills (especially when speaking
in menacing whispers), and would be action-oriented individuals and risk
takers.
A
background in the study of the Force (light or dark) is desirable, as would
typically be acquired by those with advanced degrees or significant course
work in Jedi Arts from the University of Coruscant. Applicants should also be
familiar with holographic projection equipment, possess a valid galactic
pilot's license for all classes of ships, and must show a willingness to give
in to their hate. A proven track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind tricks
to control others is also desirable as is the ability to speak several
galactic languages. Ideal candidates for this position would also have no
children or other living relatives who are strong in the ways of the Force. (A
new hire would be give several weeks to meet this requirement.)
Compensation
for this position is commensurate with experience, and is extremely
competitive for the field.
Benefits
include a generous severance package, a company starship, and a dark-colored
clothing allowance.
The
Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works closely with the Sith Master and
experience in such small, team-based organizations is vital to the success of
the Master's plans. Discretion is also highly valued, as is the ability to see
the future before it happens.
Applications
will be accepted through the end of August.
(Dark
Side CG (tm) is a small and highly-focused organization founded a long time
ago. Our core values reflect the short-term advantages of harnessing hatred
for institutional power and the long-term desirability of controlling the
galaxy. We provide direction to our partner organizations though knowledge
management, incident control and our rapid on-site intervention expertise.)