More Humorous Stuffs The Admiral Found In The Mail . . . .

Here are some more jokes I found in my mail or I pick up out of the local newspapers. They all really got me laughing. Thanks to the authors for letting me publish it here too!!

1) You're sick and tired of people asking you: "So, have you watched Star Wars?"
2) You're dying to see the rude-sounding planet "Naboo"
3) You want to check out the Jedi haircut, so you can ask your barber to cut your hair that way.
4) Celine Dion does not sing on the soundtrack.
5)It's the closet you'll ever get to Natalie Portman.
6) You want to see if there really were three E.T.s at the senatorial conference.
7)You fell asleep the first time.
8) To feel good about yourself-Darth Maul's complexion is worse than yours.
9) Someone gave you free tickets.
10) Someone swears that your boss looks like Jabba and you just have to see for yourself.

1) No need for your contribution. George Lucas is rich enough.
2) When R2D2 said, "You're naked! Your parts are showing!", he was only referring to C3PO.
3) Tickets too easy to book-no challenge.
4) You missed the original trilogy, so why start now?
5) You rather put your S$7 to better use, like donating it to SSWAF (Stop the Star Wars Addiction Foundation).
6) You don't believed in paying to watch a trailer.
7) Ewan McGregor keeps his robe on throughout the movie.
8) You rather watch a much more profound movie, like Austin Powers, The Spy Who Shagged Me.
9) You don't want to end up shooting Queen Amidala's hairstylist.
10) You're a really patient person. You're willing to wait another 20 years for TCS (Television Cooperation of Singapore) to screen it on TV.

TOP TEN THINGS *NEVER* TO SAY TO DARTH VADER

1. "Is that your final answer?"
2. "Is that a laptop in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"
3. "Force, Schmorce...you don't scare me, you overgrown tin can!"
4. "Where do you hide your cigarette lighter in that outfit?"
5. "Oh yeah, you and what army is gonna stop us?"
6. "C'mon, the Emperor's just an old geezer, right?"
7. "Take off the cape, you idiot, you look like a bad Zorro!"
8. "Did you know the stormtroopers are taking bets on how long it
takes to polish your helmet?"
9. "So, how long before the Rebels kick your butt...again?"
10."So this is Death Star...what a hunk of junk! What moron came up with this one?"

1)Vader: Oh go on you little scamp, I will let you off the hook THIS time.
2)Yoda: Forget this Jedi nonsense, lets go for a brew.
3)Han: Just tell me what you want me to do, Leia, and I'll do it
4)Luke: My sister you say? Well, what she doesn't know won't hurt her.....
5)Lando and Han: I shall assume full responsibility for this.
6)Death Star Officer: Wow, that Vader is touchy today!
7)Vader: (after Luke jumps off the railing in Cloud City) Was it something I said?
8)Emperor: Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive!
Vader: Um, actually my Lord that was something I've been meaning to talk to you about......
9)Tarkin: Maybe we should talk things over before we do anything drastic.
10) Wedge Antilles: I'm hit! I can't stay with you! And I left the heater on, the cats not been well, and I promised I'd pick up a few things at the grocery store for General Dodonna

TOP 10 REJECTED STAR WARS SCENES :

10. Shot of Stormtroopers mooching at a rock concert. (Of your choice)

9. Luke turns to the Dark Side because he heard it had some pretty good restaurants.

8. Han visits an Ewok peep show.

7. Chewie gets shaved and drunk.

6. R2-D2 mud-wrestling with Yoda while Luke, now a very lonely young Jedi, places bets on the winner with his X-wing.

5. Lando discos the night away with C-3PO.

4. R2 forgets to let the Wookiee win because, since he has no arms to speak of, Chewbacca cannot rip them off.

3. Leia gets lost in the supermarket.

2. Luke boogies down to the Beastie Boys after the awards ceremony after the Battle of Yavin.

1. Lando dies. And dies. And dies some more. Ahahahahahahahaha!

TOP 11 THINGS UTTERED BY YODA WHILE MAKING LOVE
11. "Ahhh! Yoda's little friend you seek!"
10. "Aaahhh.... Put a shield on my saber I must."
9. "Feeeel the force!"
8. "Foreplay, cuddling....Ha! A Jedi craves not these things."
7. "Down here, I am. Find a ladder, I must!"
6. "Do me, or do me not. There is no try."
5. "Early must I rise. Leave now you must!"
4. "Happens to every guy sometimes this does."
3. "When 900 years old you reach, Viagra you need too, hmmmmm?"
2. "Ow, ow, OW! On my ear you are!"
1. "Who's your Jedi master? WHO'S your Jedi Master?"

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